Horror DNA

And the irony that later Nancy Reagan would guest star to say no to drugs.

Holy shit.

They did it. They really did it.

Today on Diff'rent Strokes, occurring right now, Kimberly is running around in black face pretending to be black. She was going to a costume party as Maid Marion and it turns out her boyfriend is racist. So she dressed up in her costume to meet him and put on an afro wig and did black face. All of them told the boyfriend that Willis and Arnold weren't adopted, Kimberly was just ashamed of her black side and covered it up, but was coming out of the closet now. Willis told the boyfriend that he should see Kimberly tap dance, because she's the best.

Then they all shamed the boyfriend for being racist and he left. It turns out that the boyfriend has a sister that Willis wanted to have sex with and the boyfriend was like, no black dick in this chick, yo. And Arnold caught it all on his tape recorder. It was hilarious seeing Kimberly in black face yelling at the boyfriend for being racist.

Okay, I'm not really surprised about the blackface episode, but I am surprised they actually aired it.

OMG THIS IS SO CRINGEY.

You didn't believe me and had to go look it up

I HAD TO SEE IT FOR MYSELF.

What the hell was that awkward strut they did after she ran downstairs?

That was their Harlem strut. Their jive walkin' for when they're jive talkin'.

Today's Facts of Life is about Natalie being a hot slut. This is when they're still in school and living over the cafeteria.

A rumor gets started that Natalie makes out with boys all the time, and suddenly she's got a million study dates. People start talking behind her back. Blair, Jo and Tootie try to stage an intervention and she admits she doesn't do anything but likes that the rumor is spreading because she's popular now. Nobody likes that.

Natalie talks to a real hot slut, Homerun Helen. Helen tells her she loves being a slut because while it means she has no friends, she always has company.

Then the guy who started the rumor shows up for a date, and Jo and Blair totally muscle in on him and tell him they're going to kick his ass for making up things. Then Natalie comes in and they all confront him for spreading lies about her.

This goes a long way in explaining why they're all virgins many years later. I think there's another side to this show we don't get to see, but is in between the stories, as it were. None of the sex related episodes start until Jo shows up. And while Blair and Jo are always against each other in the early eps, it's easy to see in the future eps they're tight BFFs who just have that pseudo hostility between them.

I'm thinking Jo and Blair have a forbidden love that comes on fast and furious after they move in together. Both have domineering personalities and it's just a small leap to see that they would browbeat Tootie and Natalie into going along with everything. I'm not saying this is some weird lesbian sex cult, but there's something here. They all talk about how dating boys gets them things like gifts and tickets and fancy meals. So I'm pretty sure they use their male relationships to get whatever they can, while not putting out at all, and they take care of that part between themselves somehow. Hence, they whole "virgins" in their late 20's thing.

Look, I don't have all the answers here. This is a journey. These are the clues.

The episode after that introduced Jo's dad in prison. Jo goes to visit him on his birthday. He's only 40. That guy, regardless of what part he plays -- especially Moe Green -- I always imagine as being at least mid 50's. Anyways he asks her about school and she tells him she's met a great group of girls. Yeah, this is going in the file.

Diff'rent Strokes is on and while the story of teen pregnancy is neither here nor there, it did make me realize that Mr. Drummond has spared no expense to educate Kimberly. She goes to an uppercrust private school in NYC, until she eventually goes to Eastland.

Willis and Arnold? They still go to their shitty public school in Harlem.

There was an episode where Willis was going to go to a fancy private school, but he couldn't get in because he wasn't smart enough to pass the exam. Mr. Drummond tells him something about maybe that's for the best.

I'm sure race and bloodlines had nothing to do with any of this.

Groovy History wouldn't let me comment or like your tag on Dana Plato. But I mentally liked it. I hope you got it.

Wow, today's all about being anti-Catholic on Facts of Life.

Jan Brady's guesting as Blair's older, 20's something family friend. She shows up to tell Blair she's becoming a nun. This is a 2 parter, btw.

Blair totally hates this and loses it. In the first episode it plays out a lot like Jan Brady was brainwashed by the convent she belonged to. In the second episode, Jo decides she also wants to become a nun. Blair tells her she's a self important, pompous bitch. Seriously.

And Jo decks her. Seriously.

And there's more fighting that boils down how catholicism is a cult and eventually Jan leaves, never to return again. But Jo apparently gave up the dream and bowed down to Blair's wishes because we all know she didn't leave and become a nun.

But this really adds to the whole idea that the 4 girls are some kind of virginal coven unto themselves, and apparently it's led by Blair.

Oh, and Blair said God was dead.

In the second episode, Jo decides she also wants to become a nun. Blair tells her she's a self important, pompous bitch. Seriously.

And Jo decks her. Seriously.

FINALLY.

I have to admit that I was shocked. I don't remember this storyline or Jo hitting Blair like that.

This needs to go to the next page. Every time there's a reply, I end up watching blackface again.