"How to Sell a Haunted House" Book Review

Written by Sean M. Sanford

Published by Berkley Books

how to sell a haunted house grady hendrix poster large

Written by Grady Hendrix
2023, 432 pages, Fiction
Released on January 17th, 2023

Review:

Not every writer is able to merge other-worldly horror with some of life’s more relatable frights with smooth and non-forced transitions. Grady Hendrix is not your typical writer though, and How to Sell a Haunted House is far from your typical horror story.

Louise is a single mom, born and raised in Charleston, South Carolina, who migrated to San Francisco for college and was seduced to remain by the city’s endless charm. She’s on peaceful terms with her ex-husband Ian as they raise their young daughter Poppy. Louise remains in close contact with her parents, Nancy and Eric, as she tries to tolerate all contact with her kid brother Mark, who lives a stones-throw from their parents.

One day Louise gets a call. Their parents. The family car. Smashed. All destroyed. Here we are introduced to the real-life horror show that is sometimes experienced between siblings when a parent dies. Especially when both parents die. Especially when one of the sibs (Mark, in this case) has a questionable definition of responsibility. And especially when the will feels, shall we say, belligerently lopsided.

Louise must now return home to Charleston and spar with her kid brother over what the fuck to do with their parents’ leftovers. This is all beneath a sickening level of mourning sorrow, confusion, frustration, and a feeling of betrayal. As they decide what to do with the house, not to mention all the items in the house, the true colors of Louise, Mark, their parents, and the home itself begin to shine. And another brand of horror begins.

Louise and Mark were raised to appreciate art and culture beneath the steadfast eyes of a shitload of puppets their mother had been fiendishly creating since before they were born. The puppets enjoy permanent kinship in Nancy’s workshop, glaring down from their wall-to-wall habitation.

As they go through the house preparing for a sale that may be soon or far or never, Louise begins to hear things, bumps in the night, phantom giggles, warrior squirrels. Typical shit. This brings an unsettling undercurrent when she begins parsing through her mom’s workshop beneath the beady eyes of puppets with whom she was reared; folks like Flossy Bossypants, Sister Whimsical, Pizzaface, and the reigning puppet king, Pupkin. This is when the house’s true personality begins to shine. And bludgeon.

I found this aspect of the story to be very realistic, and it cuts to the quick, reminding me of when my dad died. I grew up on a large expanse of property that had been in our family since my grandpa bought it just before Pearl Harbor was attacked. The property had been owned by a cattle rancher and had a giant barn that was mostly used as storage, a collection bin for artifacts from my grandparents, parents, extended family and friends dating back to when a vehicle’s horsepower was meant quite literally. There had been a lot of foofaraws over who felt entitled to which treasures and who was responsible with handling the overwhelming load of leftovers. Hendrix’s rendition of emotion-laden embitterment over the shrapnel of a loved one’s life is spot on, laying out a very realistic sub-plot of terror.

How to Sell a Haunted House is a well-mixed conglomeration of the varying relationships that exist in families, the woe of losing one’s parents, the questionable decisions made beneath life-altering circumstances, and a ghostly embodiment that becomes increasingly malicious. I admit there are chunks of the book that feel a tad cartoonic and maybe longer than necessary, but the final act is so masterfully executed I was quick to forgive. This book is a further testament to Grady Hendrix as a master developer and puppeteer of characters and of shaping his plot in ways that are both unexpected and perfect. This is him at his best, no strings attached.

Grades:

Overall: 5 Star Rating Cover
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Sean M. Sanford
Sean M. Sanford
Staff Reviewer
Sean M. Sanford was born and raised in the Sierra foothills of California on a haunted ranch that was constantly trying to remind him how wonderful it is being scared shitless. He later moved to San Francisco where he currently resides in an apartment that may or may not be cursed. With so many horrific dimensions to his life, Sanford has been known to revel since birth in scary movies, novels, comic books, and tales told by friends and loved ones. He writes fiction for the skateboarding magazine Lowcard, through which he has a collection of stories and photos called A Manbaby’s Requiem. He also wrote fiction for the online periodical Defiant Scribe. He writes book reviews for Night Worms, and Horror Oasis, and has written horror movie articles for the website, The Infinite Eleven. He has an Instagram account all about books, called @skaters_who_read. He and his wife Candice have started a homemade incense company called Effin Relax, and he’s been known to burn said fragrances during the scariest of movies to help calm his nerves. He looks forward to being the most freaky and creative spirit once he’s left this mortal coil.
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