"Return of the Living Elves" Book Review

Written by Steve Pattee

Published by Muted Media

return of the living elves brian asman poster large

Written by Brian Asman
2022, 160 pages, Fiction
Released on November 29th, 2022

Review:

Brian Asman blew me away with his novella Man, Fuck This House not just because it’s a great book, but because he really turned the haunted house trope on its head. When I heard he was writing an homage to Return of the Living Dead, my interest was piqued. When I heard the title was Return of the Living Elves, I knew I had to read it. I was not disappointed.

Paying homage is tricky business. It either sticks too close to the original subject matter and doesn’t bring anything new to the table or it goes so far away from the source, it’s an homage in name only. But here, Asman expertly dances that fine line of making the story all his own while making you want to watch the film again if you haven’t in a while. It’s a delicate balance he succeeds with.

Remember how in The Return of the Living Dead things went bananas after that barrel with the zombie busted open? Well, swap the barrel with a snow globe and the zombie with an elf that has a mouthful of razor-sharp teeth and you have yourself a holiday classic. Especially once the North Pole finds out the little guy is on a rampage and assigns a Special Forces Santa to clean up. But can he fix things before the town is nuked?

Return of the Living Elves is as ridiculous as it is entertaining. The mixture of humor with horror is perfect, and fans of Jeff Strand will eat this up. There is so much going on, this should be a series with a story released every year around Christmas. I mean, c’mon, there’s a Santa from the Special Forces kicking ass and taking names here.

You read that right.

In addition to the gnarly, toothy elf, there is infighting between the Clauses and the Kringles, secret experiments on elves, something going on with Peter Cottontail, a lot of violence, and more. Hell, I take what I said above back. There should be a yearly Christmas release and a yearly Easter release because I need to know what the hell that rabbit is up to.

Funny, action-packed, and chock-full of grue, Return of the Living Elves is a Christmas gift that keeps on giving. It’s the perfect stocking stuffer for that horror fan in your life. Currently, if you pick it up from Asman’s website, you can get an autographed copy for less than a non-signed version from Amazon.

Grades:

Overall: 3.5 Star Rating Cover
Buy from Amazon US.
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Buy from Amazon UK.
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Buy from Bookshop.

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Steve Pattee
US Editor, Admin
He's the puppet master. You don't see him, but he pulls the strings that gets things done. He's the silent partner. He's black ops. If you notice his presence, it's the last thing you'll notice — because now you're dead. He's the shadow you thought you saw in that dark alleyway. You can have a conversation with him, and when you turn around to offer him a cup of coffee, he's already gone.
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