8213: Gacy House DVD review
Written by Robert Gold
DVD released by The Asylum
Directed by N/A
Released on September 28th, 2010
In 1999, The Blair Witch Project scared the shit out of America and earned a spot high atop the pile of most successful low-budget movies ever. Ten years later, audiences welcomed Paranormal Activity into the world of “Top 10 lists”. What does 8213: Gacy House have in common with the Blair Witch? Not as much as it shares with The Asylum’s creatively named Paranormal Entity.
In 8213: Gacy House, six assholes wander into a house in Des Plaines, IL, looking for the ghost of a serial killer. Although nothing bad has ever happened here, it is, conveniently enough, built on the same property where John Wayne Gacy once lived. He was an evil man who killed 32 boys and buried them in a crawl-space under his home. Gacy got to ride the needle to Hell when he was executed by lethal injection in 1994. Remaining the class act ‘til the end, Gacy’s last words were “Kiss my ass.”
The events that concern this hapless group of ghost-hunting trespassers occur around ten years after Gacy’s execution. I say “around” because the year this “discovered” footage was shot varies depending on what section of the film you are watching. The cover art claims 2004, while the footage cites early March 2006 and the trailer offers still a third date. Regardless of when these nimrods entered the house, they never came back out and the police found a stack of tapes, dead bodies, and a note asking that The Asylum Home Video be contacted immediately for distribution.
The helper elves working in the Des Plaines police department have generously edited the material into a cohesive narrative for audiences to review, if they dare… and I dare, indeed. This time around the “Let’s haunt a house” variety hour, we get the usual suspects in the form of scientists, film school reps and the token psychic. The first half of 8213: Gacy House is all set up — but not in the way of creating suspenseful scenario as much as it is in the way of watching the team place cameras in every room. Eventually they explore the basement and try to capture the ghostly voice of Mr. Gacy on some spooky recorders by asking how many boys he sodomized down here in this room. The ghost kindly responds for them to “Kiss my ass.” Apparently the ground under this house is as sour as Mr. Gacy’s attitude.
The footage quickly drops into the tiresome spiral of bickering and swearing that usually befalls low-budget productions when bad actors are encouraged to improvise. The group moves in circles of stupidity that pad the running time until it is time for the ghost of crawlspace-face to show up and start dispatching these yammering meatheads. Why Gacy wastes his time with the women is unknown, but he does manage to rip the shirt off of one woman during the exciting conclusion. The highlight of the finale comes when a young cameraman has his pants removed by the ghost before the spirit lifts him off his feet and throws him down the basement stairs for some paranormal sodomy.
I must assume by the Des Plaines police department slate at the beginning and copies of the autopsy reports at the end, that this is indeed the real deal and not opportunistic bullshit. The DVD does not offer any titles or production credits and to be honest, this really doesn’t feel like a Hollywood production, so this must be authentic. This just proves that the liberal media continues to prevent stories like this from seeing the light of day, and I would like to thank The Asylum Home Video for doing its best to make sure these stories are told. Nice job guys, you should be proud.
Video and Audio:
The Asylum delivers a respectable 1:78 anamorphic transfer that makes the most of the shoddy source material. There are no compression issues or digital macro-blocking to complain about, but there is little of merit either.
A 2-channel stereo mix is provided for those deprived of surrounds, but subtitles are not part of the bargain. Audio levels are marred by the obnoxious yelling and screaming of the cast and dialogue is occasionally lacking in clarity.
Nothing here but a seven-minute piece called “documentary” that follows the same morons around in the time before their journey begins. A trailer is buried within the piece.
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