Bloodsucking Bastards Movie Review

Written by Steven Wood

Released by Scream Factory


Directed by Brian James O'Connell
Written by Dr. God and Ryan Mitts
2015, 86 minutes, Not Rated
Released theatrically and on VOD on September 4th, 2015

Fran Kranz as Evan
Joey Kern as Tim
Pedro Pascal as Max
Emma Fitzpatrick as Amanda
Joel Murray as Ted



Bloodsucking Bastards uses the phrase “This job is sucking the life out of me” in a literal fashion and does so in a very hilarious way.

Evan and Tim are telemarketers for a company that only cares about the numbers and couldn’t care less on how to achieve them. In an attempt to shake things up and boost sales, an old acquaintance of Evan’s named Max shows up as the new sales manager – a position which Evan thought he himself was a shoe-in. Adding to the workplace drama, Amanda, the HR person, just broke it off with Evan. The reasoning for the break up is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.

I don’t have much of anything negative to say about Bloodsucking Bastards besides that I wish it was “bigger”, if that makes sense. It’s probably my own fault, but I thought this was going to be along the lines of Shaun of the Dead, Cockneys vs. Zombies or Doghouse. Speaking of horror/comedy, I can’t recall any other movies which have dealt with vampires in this way. For some reason, the go-to for anything comedy always involves zombies, so this is a welcomed breath of fresh air. The dry or subtle humor isn’t everyone’s thing, but it works for me and they do it well. Mix that in with practical effects and you’re on the way to something awesome.


Something I found interesting regarding the vampires is the fact they’re somewhat friendly, for lack of a better term. There are a couple of scenes which include unprovoked violence, but there is also a lengthy scene where a game of paper-rock-scissors determines someone’s fate.

Not since Cockneys vs. Zombies have I seen horror/comedy done right. Bloodsucking Vampires had me laughing out loud during many scenes; though mainly when Joey Kern (Tim) was on screen. You might remember him as one of the stoners in the opening credits of Super Troopers, among other things. I also have to give kudos to Pedro Pascal (Max), whom I wasn’t aware could be so hilarious.

At the core of it, Bloodsucking Bastards is a comedy. The horror aspect is obvious, as we’re shown little glimpses of what’s to come, but only about the last 15 minutes is something I would actually consider “horror”. One more thing, this is the second time I’ve seen Fran Kranz in a horror movie where the last couple of scenes involves him being completely drenched in red corn syrup.



Movie: 4.5 Star Rating Cover

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