Slaxx Movie Review

Clothing corporations, especially ones that advertise their high standards of social and environmental consciousness, are big fat liars, right? Even Benetton. Yes kids - EVEN BENETTON.

Well, CCC is a clothing company very similar to Benetton, GAP, or any of the other fast-fading, socially-aware clothing brands that once ruled the 1990s. Now CCC is hinging everything on its newest pair of jeans, ‘Super Sizers’, which will apparently make everyone’s arse look beautiful… but with one tiny, yet rather significant drawback. Its exclusive ‘Monday Madness’ event takes on a whole new meaning when the new jeans gain the ability to fight back.

And what follows is… Glorious.

Even before the slaughter starts, the CCC workplace ecosystem is a brutal place to work. It’s as if Weyland Yutani was even more passive aggressive - and the warning signs in the staff rooms only ram that home. And, just like the Alien, these brand new jeans are lethally aggressive. But who is the real villain in all this? And how in hell do you fight off a bloodthirsty and intelligent pair of jeans? And its friends?!

Yep, this is a concept so hokey I’m amazed Doctor Who hasn’t done it. Or has it?

But when only the brand’s image matters, then small issues - like mutilated corpses - must pale into insignificance. The store’s bad boss is just like the mayor from Jaws, determined that nothing - not even the customer carnage - will intercept the company’s big money day. With blatant commentary on the state of clothes and how they stay so damn cheap, this is a gleeful ‘take that’ to the drawbacks of fast fashion.

Only the producers of the excellent 1980s throwback, Turbo Kid, could possibly have hoped to pull this concept off. And they have! They’ve proved you really can make a horror film about anything at all, if done with some heart and imagination. Slaxx is not a scary film in any way, but it IS a truly fun gore fest, stuffed with characters you can both root for and cheerfully hate. Because these guys know how to tell a good story - even before the blood and circuses kick off. It’s silly - this is about killer jeans, after all - and at first played completely for laughs, but then things do get a little more serious, right before romping its way towards a highly satisfying finale.

Slaxx is a perfect beer and pizza with friends movie - even if it's via Zoom. The idea is so batshit insane that it somehow all works, and it’s a really gruesome, fearlessly camp ride, even if there’s absolutely no way to make jeans look intimidating.

Just make sure you watch all the way through the end credits.