Strippers vs. Werewolves Blu-ray Review

Written by TGM

Blu-ray released by Well Go USA

Directed by Jonathan Glendening
Written by Phillip Barron & Pat Higgins
2012, Region A, 93 minutes, Unrated

Blu-ray released on September 25th, 2012

Starring: 
Steven Berkoff as Flett 
Robert Englund as Tapper 
Lysette Anthony as Jilly 
Sarah Douglas as Jeanette 
Alan Ford as Harry 
Billy Murray as Ferris 
Barbara Nedeljakova as Raven 
Martin Compston as Scott 
Lucy Pinder as Vampire Bride

Review:

In a world saturated with lackluster “versus” movies like Alien vs. Predator, Freddy vs. Jason, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, and Dinocroc vs. Supergator, it’s unfortunate to see yet another one that doesn’t quite deliver the goods.  The pitting together of two opposing forces for cinematic effect is not just a new millennium practice, lest we forget 1966’s clumsy Billy the Kid vs. Dracula or the horror classic Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man.   There is something primal bubbling up from within our primitive brains that want to see two equally matched rival factions do battle.  Hell, even women aren’t immune to feeding that primordial desire, which explains in part some of the appeal of Romeo & Juliet or West Side Story.

The plot of Strippers vs. Werewolves is simple.  After accidentally killing a werewolf (while in human form) during a private lap dance, a stripper and her coworkers soon find themselves under attack from the rest of the pack eager for revenge.   Everyone in this production is a Brit, so the performances come across much better than they actually are, I suspect.  At least to my Americocentric ears, one could read the phone book and as long as it was done in a British accent I’d think you were the next Sir Laurence Olivier.  The great Alan Ford (Snatch) is pretty much wasted here, and I just couldn’t help but think how fantastic it would be if he were the one playing the lead werewolf, and not just some shmucky owner of the strip joint with a deficit of screen time.  There’s a completely useless cameo by Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street) channeling his inner Liam Neeson, and while his performance is subdued and surprisingly quite fantastic, it’s obvious his role was shoehorned into the script purely to get the horror legend’s name on the advertising.   Oh, and Superman II fans will be thrilled by the Sarah Douglas sighting.

Now if I were going to make a movie called Strippers vs. Werewolves, the two things I would damn well make sure of is that 1) the werewolves would look absolutely badass, and 2) there would be a lot, and I mean a lot, of tits and ass.   Apparently the producers of this flick and I don’t quite see eye-to-eye in this regard.  For a movie involving a profession that requires a woman to take off her clothes, there is a disappointing and surprising lack of nudity on display.  As for the werewolf make-up, it looks more like concept drawings from a discarded The Dark Crystal sequel than anything truly menacing.  Hell, Michael Landon managed to look more frightening in the campy I Was a Teenage Werewolf.

Unfortunately decent acting and a couple of cool scenes of violence can’t make up for the bevy of prudish fully-dressed strippers, hokey looking werewolves, razor-thin plot, and questionable casting decisions.   What should have been the werewolf equivalent of From Dusk Till Dawn, with balls-to-the wall uber-violence and neo-camp, comes across more like a neutered pack of puppy dogs.   Bob Barker would be proud.

Video and Audio:

The 1080p 2.34:1 transfer is crisp in scenes with ample lighting, at times almost too much so, while the darker scenes unfortunately exhibit a bit too much artifacting and murkiness.   Many scenes also have a very bleached or washed-out appearance to them, which throws off some of the color palate.

The 5.1 lossless audio showcases a clear and concise dialogue track.  Some decent ambient noises will ooze from your surrounds.

Special Features:

Special features include a rather cheeky producer’s commentary, a short making of featurette, and a trailer for the film.

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*Note: The screenshots on this page are not a reflection of the Blu-ray image. They are promotional stills from the Facebook page.*

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