Zombie eXs DVD Review

Written by TGM

DVD released by Bloody Earth Films

Directed by George Smith
Written by George Smith & Jean Cohen
2012, Region 1 (NTSC), 101 minutes, Not Rated
DVD released on September 10th, 2013

Starring:
Alex Hammel-Shaver as Zach
Madison Hart as Lilly
Scott Keebler as Dan
Kendall Valerio as Felecia
Brandy Bryant as Irene
Gabrielle Martinez as Jolene
Jessica Sullivan as Monica

Review:

I think we can almost universally agree that the pinnacle of zombie comedies is Shawn of the Dead.  It's a damn near perfect movie that masterfully manipulates the balance between humor and horror.  Since then, zombedies have almost become a subgenre all its own.  Unfortunately, Zombie eXs, the latest attempt at marrying humor and gore, fails miserably to bring the funny or the scares.  It wants to be The Hangover meets Mallrats meets Night of the Living Dead, when in reality it succeeds in being about as funny as Schindler's List meets Brian's Song meets season two of The Walking Dead, you know, those tedious "farm" episodes.

With that said, have you ever wondered what it would be like if every single one of your ex-girlfriends simultaneously consumed a contaminated energy drink that subsequently turned them into flesh eating zombies, each vying to not only regain your affections but also eat your brain?  Yeah, me neither.  Regardless, that's the plot of Zombie eXs in a nutshell.  There's also some convoluted dating game show subplot, a lot of pointless running around, and a whole lot of stupid.  Look, I applaud those involved for trying to bring a little something new to an otherwise oversaturated zombie-genre table, but the end product is so insultingly sophomoric and painfully devoid of laughter that I was contemplating devouring my own brain with a spork in a desperate act of self-lobotomization.  Maybe then, after an impromptu ninety point IQ loss, might I find something to laugh at.

It also doesn't help that the three protagonists are extremely unlikable.  There's the serial womanizing, commitment-a-phobe who delivers his trite lines like Jerry Seinfeld's short-bus-riding younger brother.  There's the token female doormat stuck in a perpetual "friend zone" who pines away for loverboy's attention while enacting out wildly out-of-place dream fight sequences that look like third rate cutting-room-floor material from Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World.  Finally, there is the über-annoying, doughy best friend.  Imagine the bastard love child of Zach Galifanakis and Jack Black minus any of the charm, charisma, or comic timing.  I've never wanted to punch someone I didn't know in the face more than this guy.  Maybe Hitler.  Nope, probably still this guy.

I will concede that everyone is trying REALLY hard in Zombie eXs, but unfortunately nobody has the chops to raise the awful dialogue to a palatable level.  Some of the zombie makeup is decent, and the doormat girlfriend is really cute, but I didn't laugh once, I wasn't scared once, and I wanted everyone to die instantly.  Other than that, Zombie eXs comes highly recommended.

Video and Audio:

The video quality of Zombie eXs is above average, presented in crisp anamorphic widescreen.  The audio won't blow you away, but it is serviceable with a dialogue track that is (unfortunately) easy to understand.

Special Features:

The disc offers a decent amount of extras, including two audio commentary tracks, one from the cast, and one from the crew, a timelapsed special effects featurette, a "cast confessions" featurette, a trailer for the movie, and trailers for other Bloody Earth Films productions.

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